Impact of Discipleship: Hannah Hatton
/“I knew I needed to know more about the Lord and his Word”
One of the first things that Eva ever told me in discipleship was, “I’d rather be right with God than right with man.” I don’t remember the context of this conversation, but this statement has changed the trajectory of my life due to the impact it’s had on my walk with the Lord.
Before beginning discipleship, this statement was flipped in my life. I preferred to be right with man over God. Even though I was blinded by it, I can now see how preferring myself and man’s opinion left me in a constant state of anger. I was struggling to understand why there was hatred in the world, and I could never find an answer. I was adding to the hatred by the thought life I was creating in response to what I saw around me. I kept trying to justify man’s actions on one side and despise the other man’s actions on the other side while becoming farther and farther from the Lord. I was trying to be right with man, and it failed me time and time again.
We live in a corrupt, vile, and unjust world, and the last person we should place blame on is the Lord. He weeps at the corrupt, vile, and unjust things of this world and the only way or solution to all of those things is to have a right relationship with Christ. God gave us free will; therefore, he has given us a choice. We can either choose our own lusts, desires, and thoughts, or we can choose to follow him. When I realized that following the Lord with everything in me was the solution, I was truly set free. God had reopened my eyes and nothing has brought me more peace or comfort in my life. As soon as I realized this, I knew I needed to know more about the Lord and his word. I wanted to be held accountable through this. I wanted to be invested in. I wanted to know God’s word for myself. It was clear to me that my next step was discipleship and, praise God, I was paired with Eva Briscoe.
“I was able to learn from Eva’s life and apply the things I learned to my own, just like the Bible says”
As I entered into discipleship, I truly didn’t know what to expect. I was saved at eight years old and grew up going to church, but the only people who had ever invested God’s word into my life were my parents. I’d never had someone who wasn’t related to me really teach me about the Bible or how to follow Christ. One thing I did know was that I was excited for discipleship to begin, especially since Eva had already been pouring into me when my husband and I went through premarital counseling with her and Brandon. She knew my heart and the things I struggled with already, so going into discipleship was fairly easy.
Throughout my entire life, I have struggled with understanding my emotions; oftentimes, I have been labeled as being “too emotional.” I feared a lot of different things and would allow my thoughts to take over and control what I believed. As we began going through discipleship, this was often something I would go to Eva for. I would come to her broken down and distraught by something Satan had created in my mind, and she would respond with, “It’s okay Hannah. Let’s go to God’s word.” Not once did Eva just share her opinions or even rebuke me for certain things I was feeling or thinking. She would sit with me, study God’s word with me, and pray with me.
After the first few times this happened, I remember thinking to myself, “I want to be more like Eva,” which isn’t necessarily bad. What I realized over time, however, was that Eva is no better than me or anyone else. She simply loves the Lord, which entails being Christ-like. The things in Eva’s life that I wanted to emulate were really just Christ living through her. In the end, I learned so much from Eva by her encouraging me to sit at God’s feet and spend time with him in his word. When we are obedient to Christ in this, our circumstances, fears, insecurities, and thought life are stripped away and he sets us free. I was able to learn from Eva’s life and apply the things I learned to my own, just like the Bible says.
2 Timothy 3:14-15 But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; 15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
As discipleship continued, I remember having moments where I initially wanted to turn to Eva for counsel but would catch myself. I would remind myself that, yes, Eva is my discipler, and of course I can go to her, but I am also learning how to turn to God’s word for counsel. This was difficult for me at first, but I wanted to grow. I didn’t want to become stagnant and only know how to run to Eva for help. I wanted to run to the Lord.
“The Lord taught me that my plans are not my own; he has something much better in store”
Towards the end of my discipleship journey, I asked Eva to do the Emotions Study class—taught by Deb Molder at MBT—with me. Deb has been instrumental in many women’s lives when it comes to understanding and dealing with their emotions, and I thought it would be a fun thing to do with Eva. She said yes, and looking back on this I see how God was instrumental in placing Eva in that class with me. God knew that I needed to have clear, outlined, biblical examples for each emotion, and he knew that doing this with Eva was necessary as discipleship was ending.
When I was about four lessons away from finishing discipleship, I was, as they say, on fire for the Lord. I saw how different my life looked by simply being obedient to the Lord and trusting him with everything. But shortly before the Emotions Study began, I experienced my first miscarriage. I didn’t know what to think. I was confused about how to trust the Lord with this situation. I became scared and wanted to hide because I didn’t want the past year of growth to be for nothing. I didn’t want to return to a thought life that would lead me into darkness.
Looking back, I see how the Lord protected me by having Eva as my discipler. She wasn’t going to allow me to hide. She was going to be by my side, loving me, listening to me, and praying with and for me. As I was learning how to understand and grieve this miscarriage, Eva and I would often meet for discipleship but end up just talking everything through. This gave me hope, but it also showed me that discipleship isn’t just a program to get through; instead, discipleship is meant to be a relationship between the disciple and discipler that focuses on growth in God’s word and the ability to teach others also (2Ti 2:2). I could’ve easily decided to follow my sadness and walk away from what God had for me, but I didn’t. God used Eva during this season to strengthen me and hold me accountable.
As we neared the end of the Emotions Study class and were just two lessons away from finishing discipleship, I miscarried for a second time. As much as my flesh wanted to delve back into hiding and being angry at the Lord, I couldn’t. I had just spent an entire summer working through my first miscarriage and was finally at peace. I looked back at the darkness and knew that I didn’t want to go back to it. Now, this wasn’t as easy as it may seem from this short blog post, but I knew that trusting the Lord with this was the most important thing I could do. The Lord taught me that my plans are not my own; he has something much better in store. Through this season, I became closer to the Lord through my quiet time, I became closer to my husband in our marriage, and God used me to comfort others in seasons of suffering. Ultimately, I wanted to glorify the Lord through my suffering because he is enough for me.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
“Discipleship changed my life because it changed my heart”
Even though discipleship is over, God still uses Eva in my life regularly. She is one of my best friends and continues to love me unconditionally. Before discipleship began, I had never experienced someone investing in me like Eva did for over a year. I am forever grateful for her investment in my life and how much she taught me through God’s word. I now feel confident in telling others what God has done in my life and how I’d rather be right with him than anyone else. I now have an understanding of God’s word for myself and desire to be obedient to whatever he has for me. Discipleship changed my life because it changed my heart. God has been quite strategic the past two years, especially through giving Eva the ability to open my eyes and wake me up to what God has called me to.
Hannah Hatton is a member at Midtown Baptist Temple and is a part of C&YA. She is on the discipleship team and edits C&YA’s blog. She is also involved in the Grandview women’s Bible study.