Applications from Mission Focus: Learning to be a Living Sacrifice
/“I realized that I am not properly sacrificing my life for my small group girls”
I went into Mission Focus this year with three questions, and God answered all three.
How can I be a better small group leader?
How can I be a better spiritual and physical mom?
What does it look like to go to Vietnam & be prepared?
God used Brian Clark the second night to speak to me through his sermon over Romans 12:1: “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” Through this sermon, I realized that I am not properly sacrificing my life for my small group girls. I am not being that example for them to follow, which results in me seeing my own shortcomings in them.
“I must be holding onto Him as my foundation, relying on Him to lead how He wants me to lead.”
This year our Penn Valley Bible study leader, Janina, will be sent to Tampa, Florida. The year before, Miyoko had to go back to Japan. Meanwhile, I’m pretending that I won’t be able to stand without them through these transitions. The picture I think of in this situation is Will Ferrell in the movie Talladega Nights. Now, this isn’t a great movie nor does it have much to do with me feeling inadequate with Bible study, but there is a picture:
The main character, Ricky Bobby, had a bad race car accident, and his team comes to visit him. Will is sitting in a wheelchair, and he’s playing basketball with other men in wheelchairs. His friend asks, “Doc is he ever going to walk again?” The doctor replies, “ Oh, he can walk, he just found that wheelchair.” Later, he is self-convinced of his handicap and stabs his leg thinking he is paralyzed. By doing this, he comes to terms with the fact that he can walk on his own. I’m Will Ferrell because I am acting like once Janina and Miyoko leave, I won’t be able to stand and walk on my own with Bible study. Of course, this is not true because anything is possible with the Lord.
Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
I cannot be a good small group leader without standing on/with God. I must be holding onto Him as my foundation, relying on Him to lead how He wants me to lead. I need to allow Him to use me to be a living sacrifice to love them and that is reasonable.
As I said before, God answered all three of my questions, but he did this by answering them in the exact same way. How can I be a better spiritual and physical mom to my Bible study girls? I can’t, especially without going to God first and laying everything and anything at his feet: my girls, my thoughts, my fears, my anxieties, my pride. I need to be a living sacrifice.
Parents are called to sacrifice for their children; therefore, I need to lay down my life before God. If I don’t lay down my life for my girls, my disciples, those I could be ‘Viet-mom’ to, then I won’t be able to invest in them like God wants me to. I want to be able to love them like a mom, but I have to first know that I literally cannot do this without God and spending time broken at his feet.
“ I need to be willing to live there with the real possibility of forever.”
The last question I was dealing with was, “How do I or could I prepare to go to Vietnam?” Again, I can’t do this without God and going to him with everything. I cannot answer any of my questions on my own, especially not without first being a sacrifice. Through Brian Clark’s sermon, I realized that I need to be careful not to overuse the word sacrifice for the things that are my reasonable service, like eating healthy or being physically fit.
One of my spiritual moms helped me see I was misusing the word sacrifice. This goes back to the quote that really stuck with me from All Church Retreat, “A sacrifice isn’t a sacrifice unless it is a sacrifice.” Meaning, you can’t call something a “sacrifice” unless it is something that is going to really cost you something. Going to Vietnam would be a sacrifice because there is no Midtown Baptist Temple there, which has been my church for 10 years now. It would be a sacrifice to go anywhere without my brothers and sisters. It would be a sacrifice to go anywhere my family isn’t at; those people are some of the loves of my life. A sacrifice to me would be to never have a physical child and to be okay with that‒to willingly leave those things for me would take faith. They would mean laying down all my desires at God’s feet in prayer by truly seeking what He has for me and trusting Him to know better and what’s best for me.
Psalm 23:5-6 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Brian Clark also preached about going into battle, and that when you get into the enemy’s territory you have to burn the bridge you used to get over there - that way you aren’t tempted to turn back. I’ve never viewed Vietnam too seriously or as a permanent place that my husband and I could potentially live. It causes me to fear to think about and I know that those feelings are from the enemy. After hearing this statement from Brian Clark, I am filled with faith and ready to follow my husband Taylor as he follows God’s leading. If that is Vietnam, I need to be willing to live there with the real possibility of forever. The only way I can do this is by clinging to the Lord, his Word and his comfort.
Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
None of these things will be easy. But again, all three questions were answered the same way: I must be a living sacrifice and be on my face before God in prayer, begging Him to use me. I will only be near to God if I chose to be close to Him and lay down my preferences, feelings, pride, and expectations. I can’t even go about a normal day functioning properly without asking God to change my heart.
“...why would I use [my mouth] in any other way than to give God the glory and help shepherd the flock He has given me?”
I can’t be used for his kingdom without being submitted and broken before him. I need to pray for my Bible study, my F.O.I. kids, and Vietnam. I need to ask God to lead me and show me how to be a good leader, a good mom, and how to go to Vietnam. Romans 7:18 talks about how in my flesh dwelleth no good thing. The only thing in me that is good is Jesus Christ and his Holy Spirit. Outside of that, I’m selfish, disappointed, weak, and throw pity-parties for myself. But God is so good, so gracious, and so wonderful because He helps me get back up and try again. Like when Moses said, “Why me? I’m not your guy, God.” and God answered, “I made your mouth, speak my words.” (Exodus 3:11, 4:10-12). This is the same God that made my mouth, our mouths. So why would I use mine in any other way than to give God the glory and help shepherd the flock He has given me?
One of my favorite passages is Joshua 10:8, 12-14. This passage makes me overjoyed and kind of ashamed of myself because He was the same God then as he is now. I so often don’t trust Him with my cares, and yet He wants them. Mission Focus revisioned me and caused me to see that I must lay my questions and cares before Him, know that they are not mine but his, and that He is trusting me to steward them how He wants me to.
Abishai Lyon is a discipler and small group leader in Midtown Baptist Temple’s College and Young Adults ministry. She serves in Kidtown and the Friends of Internationals ministry.