A Tension Filled Room: Applications from Acts
/“They had resolved long ago that the cost would be worth it”
Amidst our most recent study in Acts, we found ourselves in a crucial transition as a significant conversation was about to unfold.
Cornelius, a Gentile, had sent men to find Peter after receiving a vision from God. He barely had any details, just a command. The command was simple: send for Peter, and he will tell you what to do. The men swiftly find Peter and bring him back to Caesarea where Cornelius now eagerly awaited. He earnestly shares his story with Peter: the vision, the confirmation of answered prayer, the immediacy and urgency that followed. “...Now therefore are we all here present before God, to hear all things that are commanded thee of God” (Acts 10:33).
Brandon, our college and young adult pastor, helped bring light to the reality of this moment. He explained to us that, “These Grecians are waiting with bated breath to hear what Peter has to tell them. There’s probably a great tension in the room. They’re probably getting ready to play out all the different things he (Peter) could say. What if he asks us to ___? What if he tells us ___?” Based on what Brandon shared with us, we saw that they had no idea what was about to happen. Yet, their hearts and minds were fixed. They were expectant. They had resolved long ago that the cost would be worth it, and there they stood, ready to do whatever was next.
Upon reflecting on some old journals, (not my favorite pastime, I assure you) I discovered a common theme that would linger from page to page, a longing that existed from prayer to desperate prayer. “God, I’m confused about what following you is supposed to look like right now,” or “Jesus, I don’t understand,” or, “I can’t wait for this season to pass,” and the fearful, “What are you going to do?”
In a very loving, yet painful way, the Lord revealed that I wrestle with a similar tension that the Grecians experienced all those years ago. I seek to hear God’s Word, but what happens if I don’t like what He has to say? Will I have ears to hear it? Will I be willing to move forward in faith, or is my fear going to hinder the next steps that follow? Through this passage, God began to uproot some hidden tendencies that possessed the risk of choking out the power of His truth in my life.
My first tendency: If it’s inconvenient, I lose investment quickly.
“I had sown faithlessness, and I now had to reap the heartache that followed”
Unlike earnest Cornelius, in the “busyness” of it all, I gradually place the pursuit of His truth on a back-burner. This happens rather subtly, and if I were to guess, it is the leading cause of most of the “dry seasons” in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I studied up for Small Group, showed up prepared for my Women’s Study, and I was ready with words of counsel for my disciple. The truth is, I was really good and appearing fine. However, my heart posture would quickly disclose that loving him and simply being with Him was not my chief pursuit. Relationships were starting to feel like a chore, time in the Bible felt daunting, I strove more desperately to please my bosses, and I felt way more sensitive and insecure towards my husband. Nothing felt like it was enough.
A tension of my own devising now existed as I brought myself back to His Word. I had sown faithlessness, and I now had to reap the heartache that followed. Arriving there initially made me hesitate to hear Christ’s heart and mind for me. Counting the cost meant there would be a need to lay something down and that sacrifice would always inconvenience me. But it was always worth it. I’m convinced Cornelius and his friends were willing to do anything to be right with God, to have their lives used mightily by Him and for his glory.
My second tendency: I avoid conflict like the plague.
“...what I define as ‘conflict’ is actually something God defines as a form of sharpening”
As many have heard, coming to Midtown was not the easiest venture for me. I was a walking collage of unsure doctrine, beliefs, and opinions, making an encounter with anyone that didn’t agree with me very unpleasant and ridden with anxiety. I wanted a surface level of peace, for everyone to think I was fine, that we were fine, and that everything was JUST FINE. Although God has grown me, I still struggle to understand that not everyone wants to avoid conflict in the same way I do. I often find out that what I define as “conflict” is actually something God defines as a form of sharpening, growing me in one way or another.
Looking back at Cornelius, I see humility in him that placed his heart in a position of readiness to receive the truth. Remember, Cornelius was a devout man, one that feared God, who gave alms to the people, and “prayed to God alway” (Acts 10:2). But all of these things gave way to a deeper longing for more, and when he heard there were pieces of the puzzle that were missing, he didn’t hesitate to chase after them with everything he had. The words to come that would fall from Peter’s mouth would demand a change, would force him to acknowledge that what he knew before wasn’t enough but that there was a call to action. If Cornelius was fearful of that change or sought to stay comfortable, to keep the peace within and without, then the Gentiles wouldn’t have the gospel today, and I would not be writing this post right now.
God’s word is called a sword in Hebrews 4:12. It separates me from myself and my old man tendencies that so quickly hinder me in my pursuit of growth. A quote that has stuck with me says, “Sometimes it’s what we think we know that keeps us from learning.” I need His Word, I need it to conform me daily, to expose me, and to rid me of my agenda for comfort and convenience. I need His Spirit to do this work within me because the work of my hands will only result in vain labor that exhausts me in the end.
I then shifted my gaze to the other side of this conversation. A vision had come to Peter as well, changing his perspective and challenging everything he had believed prior — that Jews and Gentiles were seen as equals in the sight of God. I imagine the great tension for Peter at that moment; he, a Jew, being told his outreach with the gospel now extended beyond the chosen people of God. Jesus shifted my focus to his perspective and another tendency was revealed.
My third tendency: I am a respecter of persons.
“Through this lesson, I have found hidden gems within our congregation that in the past I would have so quickly overlooked”
This one was a tough pill to swallow. I wrestle with this partly because of my first fleshly tendency to avoid being inconvenienced. I will travel the world in an instant, seek to bring the gospel to any people group, but yet reaching outside my usual bubble within my own church family isn’t a conscious consideration. Why is there such a disconnect? For one, my heart quickly compartmentalizes my time and capacity, rather than trusting Jesus to truly be Lord over it all. It’s an issue of control. I think to myself, “If I pray with this person after service I’ll be rushing to get to the next thing and might miss out on this one conversation I was hoping to have with another person.” It sounds insane, but it’s how it happens. My brothers and sisters are no longer treasures worth knowing and pursuing but time slots that reach capacity and then it’s time to move on. It’s so humbling to admit this.
But here’s the thing: there are people in our world, in our churches, our small groups, our coffee shops, and our families, who are looking to us with the readiness of mind to receive the word of God. They are waiting with great tension but also great expectation to hear what is “commanded thee of God” (Acts 10:33). They are not an inconvenience but a great treasure to our God and were purchased by His own Son. Through this lesson, I have found hidden gems within our congregation that in the past I would have so quickly overlooked. I’m so grateful for His grace to teach me lessons like these.
I’ve learned not to fear the tension. I’ve learned to be a willing and ready vessel that isn’t concerned with self or convenience but has been emptied of that to be used in whatever way God sees fit.
What followed this moment of tension for Cornelius and his household was a cause for great rejoicing. They learned that Jesus came for everyone, that God’s heart is for them, and that they can be accepted and loved by the God that created them. Despite any reservations, fears, or experiences in the past, we can open His word and know the same.
“His heart is for you”
What is truly incredible is that when we grasp this, when we truly come to terms with how this radically changes our lives, we too get to open our mouths to tell the world the same message Peter brought to Cornelius.
Jesus came to know you. His heart is for you, you can be accepted and loved by the God that created you.
Lisa Cheadle is a discipler and small group leader in Midtown Baptist Temple’s College and Young Adults ministry. She leads the Kidtown Preschool class and is a member of Temple Worship.