A Burden Driven by Worship: Applications from Acts
/“I considered this year for all that it was: a year of heartache, despair, doubt, fear, and so many other emotions”
“What is the burden of your heart?”
This is a question that I haven’t been able to get out of my head over the last couple of months. At the beginning of June, we took a quick break from our study in Acts in C&YA, and Myles Cheadle preached a sermon over the book of Malachi titled, “The Burden of the word of the Lord.” He asked this question during his sermon. He shared numerous examples of men and women in scripture who were burdened for the word of the Lord to go forth. Jeremiah said that God’s word was as a “burning fire” shut up in his bones, and he couldn’t bear not to speak it (Jer 20:9). Nehemiah was brought to grief and anger over God’s people neglecting and rejecting his word (Neh 13:8, 25). And lastly, Peter and John couldn’t keep themselves from speaking of the things of Jesus that they had seen and heard (Acts 4:20). Amidst these examples, Myles said, “It’s not enough for us to have a message to give. We must be burdened by it.”
It was this same week that this sermon was preached that we reached the year mark since my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was a reflective few weeks as I considered this year for all that it was: a year of heartache, despair, doubt, fear, and so many other emotions. In considering these questions, I couldn’t help but think of all of the things my heart was burdened for. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew that deep down in the recesses of my heart, the burden of the word of the Lord was not the highest burden on my list.
“...where is the comfort and encouragement in ministry I had hoped for?”
In the weeks following, as we returned our attention back to Acts, we found ourselves in Acts 16, where Paul and Silas reached the city of Philippi on their missionary journey. It was a visit that wasn’t in either of their plans, yet Paul received a vision from the Lord that directed him to this city in Macedonia; he was quick to answer that call. Normally upon entering a new city, these men would search out a synagogue where they would be able to share the gospel with whatever group of men were found there. Upon reaching Philippi, they instead met a group of women praying down by the river on the sabbath, which presented a different ministry opportunity for the gospel than they were accustomed to.
“Ministry is rarely what we dream or anticipate it will be” is what Brandon stated in reference to the change of plans these two missionaries kept experiencing. Though ministry didn’t look exactly how they probably expected as they entered a new city in which to minister, that didn’t keep them from boldly proclaiming the gospel and then leading many in Philippi to Christ.
I too often desire and expect ministry to be all comfort and encouragement. When starting a new campus Bible study at UMKC at the beginning of this year, with COVID hitting and taking us off campus, where are the ministry opportunities I expected to fall into my lap? When quarantine comes and people I love are struggling with the side effects of isolation and sin, where is the comfort and encouragement in ministry I had hoped for? When I find myself growing apathetic and cold in my walk with the Lord, where is the kind of growth I had anticipated?
As our time in Acts 16 continued, Brandon began discussing Paul and Silas’s “unbreakable and unshakable” mission-mindedness. Upon personal reflection, I knew my mind couldn’t be farther from “unbreakable” or “unshakeable.” I find myself frequently admiring from afar my brothers and sisters who are unyielded in their pursuit of Christ’s heart and unshakeable in their burden and resolute minds to spread the hope of the gospel wherever they go. Then, there’s me‒willingly quiet, willingly breakable and shakeable in my “resolve” to be used in whatever way God would use me. The truth is, more often than not, that I find myself responding to the Lord like Moses, “I can’t speak, Lord!” Or like Jeremiah, “But, I am a child!” I look at my fleshly weaknesses and shortcomings and treat the Lord like he isn’t enough to use me.
Toward the end of one of these sermons, Brandon asked the question, “Do life’s trials cause you to forget the mission?”
“I forgot what it was like to ‘sing songs in the night’”
In considering this question, I can’t help but think of the people in our ministry who just this past year have lost family members, have seen loved ones walk away from the faith, and have friends and family who are sick, among so many other hard things that have happened. This was a rough year and a very transitional one at that. But during this season of being in Acts 16 and Philippians, I have recognized certain regular patterns and responses of apathy and indifference in my heart and mind in light of hardship. When my mom and niece were both diagnosed with severe cases of cancer last summer, relationships changed, my discipler Brooke moved away, my Bible study split, COVID hindered us, and girls were struggling. My heart’s response to the Lord in light of his call on my life to be a minister of the gospel in all circumstances was, “I’m dealing with some things...” or “My heart’s just not in it right now...” or “I’m a little busy and preoccupied...” or “It’s just too hard.”
Brandon recently stated something profound in regards to Paul’s heart for the mission: “He knew that life would bring pain and joy and that ministry would only compound the intensity of life's emotions. For him though, protecting the ministry of the gospel took such precedence in his heart and mind that all the extremes of life were muffled and minimized. He couldn't hear all the noise outside of him as long as he was focused on the love and purpose inside him.”
I’ve been recognizing that the emotional, personal, and physical trials and extremes of this life too often absorb my mind and heart and in turn muffle and minimize my hope in the gospel. Thus, my burden and resolve for God’s mission to be accomplished through me are weakened. It’s easier to check out emotionally and not care enough than to care too much and feel the weight of the sufferings that present themselves in this life. Somewhere in the midst of trials, as I continued to respond apathetically in my heart, I grew apathetic toward the power and hope of the gospel. I forgot what it was like to “sing songs in the night” as we find Paul and Silas doing as they’ve been beaten, bruised, and shut up in prison because of their faith and unwavering resolve to preach Jesus’s name.
“It’s easy to thank him, easy to give him glory when blessings abound”
As Brandon began his second message over “the unbreakable, unshakable missions mind,” he stated, “In a biblical worldview, there is no room for fear.” As he read through our passage and began talking about our confidence needing to be set on who we are in Christ and knowing where our eternal home is, I was surprised when the first key point he gave was the following,
“The missions-minded Christian has a heart bent to prayer and praise regardless of circumstance.”
My immediate response was to think “Are praise and prayer really what’s going to change my mind and heart to be unwavering in my pursuit of evangelism in my life?” I had expected just to hear more examples of men and women throughout scripture who had “hazarded” their lives for the gospel or more missionaries in our day who did the same. I had expected to hear more verses like 2 Corinthians 6:3-10, outlining the kinds of suffering Paul experienced in his ministry for the gospel. Praise and prayer? I have those down! I’m praying all the time for God’s heart, and I am praising him constantly, but I still lack an “unbreakable, unshakable missions-mind.” What’s the catch here?
Acts 16:25 And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.
It’s really easy to praise God in “daytime” seasons of life. It’s easy to thank him, easy to give him glory when blessings abound, and I can see the fruit of answered prayer and am encouraged to see growth and fruit from the lives of the spiritual family I’m surrounded by.
Psalm 42:8 Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.
Over the past year, I have watched my mom work through the pain and side effects of chemo and radiation, losing her strength and balance, and the emotional turmoil of dealing with cancer. In the midst of all of that, I’ve watched her day after day listening to worship music and weeping as she praises the Lord and thinks about what it will be like to meet him one day. During an incredibly difficult year, her heart’s deepest burden is to walk with Jesus and for him to be glorified in her life. I’m reminded of a line from my favorite hymn: “Turn your eyes upon Jesus; Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace.”
Again, I have to consider the question, “What is the burden of your heart?” Previously, as I considered this question, the guilt of what my heart should be burdened for was what I couldn’t get out of my head. A truer burden after Christ’s heart; however, it doesn’t grow from a place of guilt but a place of worship.
“Prayer and worship must never grow old”
Until our hearts are truly knit with Christ’s in intimate prayer and worship, the burdens and passions of our hearts won’t align with his. If I’m not immersed and captivated by his heartbeat, it shouldn’t surprise me when my heart is more preoccupied and burdened with the things of this earth than it is with him and his glory. When did I stop weeping in prayer over lost souls? Probably when I stopped singing “songs in the night” and knitting my heart to the Lord’s in heartfelt, surrendered prayer and worship. Prayer and worship must never grow old, and the moment our desperation for Christ’s presence and heart becomes arbitrary, our burden for souls will become the same.
Lydia Powers is a leader in C&YA. She serves on the Tuesday Night Meal team, Kidtown, is a part of Temple Worship, and leads a ladies UMKC small group Bible study.