Never Easy, Always Worth It: Lessons Learned from Small Group Bible Study Splits
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“ This split, and each one that followed, was used by God to grow me”
Writing this blog post has got me all teary-eyed. Honestly, the tears could be a mixture of several things. I’d say partially because as I’m writing this, I’m eating a bowl of soup that I was surprised to find out contains jalapeños. But aside from this overpowering spice in my mouth, the tears are an outflow of my heart being overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness that God has allowed me to be a part of leading small group Bible studies for the past five years. It has been the greatest joy to labor together with God (1 Cor. 3:9) and with colaborers in the ministry to invest His Word into faithful ladies, see them mature in the Lord, and then see them invest in others.
I began attending Midtown Baptist Temple in February 2013. Within that same month I was invited to join the women’s bible study in the College and Young Adults class (C&YA). Immediately, I was welcomed by Lucy (the Bible study leader) and the rest of the ladies. It was evident that everyone in the group loved each other and genuinely lived out the Word of God. Over the next year, God used those women to sharpen me, challenge me, edify me, and point me to the Word of God. I have many very sweet memories of meeting with this group. I will forever be grateful for how God used those women (and continues to use them) in my life.
That Bible study eventually grew in numbers and maturity to a point where a split was necessary. This split, and each one that followed, was used by God to grow me. They each had their own trials, their own lessons, and they each came with spiritual attack. The following is a brief history of my small groups and their splits:
First split: When Lucy was called to be a part of the church plant in Tampa, FL, Corrine took her place as the Bible study leader. After several months, the group grew and the C&YA pastor at that time, Dan Reneau, came to Havilah and I to ask us to take on half the group.
Second split: Havilah and I led together for almost a year before splitting in September 2014. Her group continued to meet in Raytown, MO, while my group moved to an apartment in Westport and then eventually transitioned to meeting in Waldo.
Third split: The Bible study in Waldo continued to grow and by January 2017 God made it clear that Melissa should take on half the group. She then led the Bible study in Waldo and God directed me to begin a Bible study on the UMKC campus.
Fourth split: The UMKC Bible study grew in maturity and numbers over the next couple years. In September 2018, God led us to split again. This time, both groups continued to meet at UMKC, one on Monday nights (led by Natalie) and one on Wednesday nights (my group).
My Inadequacy
“I ought to regularly remind myself of Christ’s sufficiency”
When Havilah and I began leading together, I felt extremely inadequate. I was honestly confused as to why Dan asked me to be a part of leading the group. I had only been at Midtown for about a year at this point and I for sure did not know what I was doing.
In the splits following that first one, there was always something that I felt inadequate in at the start of a new group. For example, how could I transition from facilitating a group of 15 to facilitating a group of 4? How could I lead a group of women when half of them are older than me? How could I win the hearts of the girls following me so that they caught the vision at UMKC? How could I lead my girls to evangelize when I still struggled with fears in evangelism?
All I can say is praise God that he uses the weak and foolish! I am certain that I will never be a “pro” at leading Bible studies. The weaknesses that God has graciously revealed to me through small group splits have driven me to my knees in prayer. Unless God moves, unless he is the one changing lives and leading this little flock, then nothing will be accomplished. I need Christ to grow me in these areas of weakness and to keep revealing them to me so I might stay humbly dependant on him.
1 Cor. 1:26-29 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: 27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; 28 And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: 29 That no flesh should glory in his presence.
Because I am most certainly inadequate, I ought to regularly remind myself of Christ’s sufficiency. If I am relying on my skills to lead, or my teaching abilities to facilitate even one night of small group, then we’re in trouble. Sufficiency is found in God alone.
2 Corinthians 3:4-6 And such trust have we through Christ to God-ward: 5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; 6 Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.
The Sweet Nearness of God
“Trials are good for us”
Before diving into some topics of spiritual attack and trials I’ve faced through Bible study splits, I’d like to note that there is a great sweetness in the midst of suffering. Trials draw us close to God. They force us to seek him in prayer and the Word.
2 Cor. 1:5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
We can quickly become distraught by suffering and miss the closest fellowship and comfort (the consolation) Christ offers during the season of our trial. He is always offering to take our burdens (1 Pet. 5:7), to hold us by the right hand (Psalm 73:23), and to lead us into his rest (Heb. 4:10). This nearness of God leads to our growth and maturity. Trials are good for us.
Psalm 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes
The Group’s Attack: Disunity
“in each of the small group splits I’ve been a part of, there has been attack”
Thankfully, we have already been given the enemy’s playbook in the Word of God. He always tries the same old tricks (getting us to doubt God’s word, sending wolves into the flock, etc.). However, the number one method of attack is on our unity.
2 Cor. 2:11 Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.
Without fail, in each of the small group splits I’ve been a part of, there has been an attack on the new group’s unity not long after the split. Unity has been threatened by differing opinions on leadership styles between coleaders, or by friends within the group being at odds with one other. Leading into a split, I now know to warn my Bible study and ask them to pray for the protection of our unity. We need the blessing of God that unity brings (Psalm 133).
1 Pet. 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
My Attack: Loneliness & Doubts
“ I wondered if I had mistaken God’s guidance”
Especially in the first couple Bible study splits I was a part of, I was faced with an overwhelming feeling of aloneness. I remember praying right before Havilah and I split and telling God how the hardest part to face was that I would no longer have her as my colaborer. During the previous year of coleading, our hearts had been knit together in unity and our prayers aligned for the girls we were leading. It honestly has never gotten easier to part ways with the ladies I’ve labored with. And when each Bible study split came to fruition, the enemy quickly reminded me that I was “alone.” When those thoughts came to my mind, it was because I had forgotten that while colaborers change (and take time to develop), God has never left me.
Hebrews 13:5b ...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
The loneliness typically came with seasons of doubts. This was especially true when God first led my small group to UMKC. Our group was composed of only one UMKC student and the rest were either on another campus or were already graduated and in a career. My temptation was to doubt that God could use us to reach the campus. I wondered if I had mistaken God’s guidance. It was a season of confusion that could only end by remembering what God had shown me in his Word and by remembering that he was with me.
Training Leaders
“ the timing of a split relies heavily on if new leadership has been developed”
Another solution to loneliness in the ministry is to train leaders; make disciples! This requires dying to self, which for me has looked like super early morning coffee dates, uncomfortable conversations, and spending time with and praying for those that might be the next Bible study leaders. Side note: I say “might” because sometimes you invest in people and then they are led to be part of leading student ministry or led to get married and go help a new church plant (looking at you, Jerri and Bekah).
John 12:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.
I honestly did not really understand the principle of training leaders until God brought my small group to UMKC. One of the verses God used to lead our group there was Proverbs 31:16:
Proverbs 31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
At that time, Deb Molder, my mentor, was leading an emotions study group on the UMKC campus. While reading this verse in Proverbs, I knew the Lord wanted me to follow her and help plant a vineyard at UMKC. Around the same time of the small group split, Deb’s group was coming to a close. The phrase “with the fruit of her hands” now took on a different meaning. I must be the one to train leaders so the ministry multiplies at UMKC. One ladies bible study will not cut it for 16,000 students. This really got me started on the training. It was a necessity.
Prior to being planted at UMKC, I had started praying with Melissa every other week for our small group and gave her a few opportunities to lead Bible study before we split. These things are necessary, but I’ve learned that there needs to be more that goes into training leaders. After recognizing the great work ahead of us at UMKC, I recognized that the need to be more proactive and have a true plan for training up new leaders.
God has also taught me that the timing of a split relies heavily on if new leadership has been developed. If there’s no Bible study leader, then there’s no Bible study split. It is never too early to begin training the next leaders.
No Greater Joy
“All the trials and spiritual attack are nothing in comparison to the joy of seeing these women grow”
There is great joy in all seasons of leading a Bible study—seasons of growth, of attack, of leadership training, and of a split. Paul called the church at Thessalonica his “crown of rejoicing” (1 Thes. 2:19) and told them that they were his “glory and joy” (1 Thes. 2:20). John said, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 4).
My heart is aligned with these passages. For the past five years, my bible study girls have brought me great joy. All the trials and spiritual attack are nothing in comparison to the joy of seeing these women grow in the Lord and invest in others.
I’ll conclude with a simple quote written in the front cover of my grandma’s Bible. It reads, “God never promised that it would be easy, only worth it.”