Isai: Impact of Discipleship
/“He will bring us to our lowest, which leads us to see that our only option is to look up”
To truly understand how discipleship impacted my life, I need to first discuss where I came from‒my story leading up to finally coming to Midtown Baptist Temple.
I grew up in a Christian family. My father was a leader in the Spanish ministry at Kansas City Baptist Temple. Because of this, you would think I had everything figured out, but that was not the case. I was saved at the young age of 12, but I only viewed God as my Savior and not the Lord I was submitted to through his Word and will for my life. I viewed him as a safety net and that mindset caused trouble as I started getting older. The fear of God was present and this safety net mentality sustained me until I reached high school. Here’s the thing about not being submitted to God’s Word and his will in your life: you are left with no foundation and no rock to stand on.
When I graduated high school, I left the protection of my parents and had the liberty to make my own decisions. I started college at UCM, the secular world opened up to me and I didn’t fight back. I was thrown into bad friendships: specifically a relationship with a girl that caused me to break promises to myself and God that I had made as a child. I had grown up telling myself that I will not live like the world and that I would not drink. That “I would be different” because I'm a Christian, a son of God. Again, because I wasn’t submitted to the Word of God, I was not actually accountable to what I had promised myself and the Lord. I lived like this for a good four years and lived in rebellion to God’s calling on my life. As I reflect on this time, I am reminded that God is good and he is constantly pursuing our hearts. He will bring us to our lowest, which leads us to see that our only option is to look up and go back to him.
“I finally said yes because all of the excuses were gone in my life”
God used my very patient and diligent brother, Ediban, as well as the soccer ministry in C&YA, to bring me back to reconciliation with the Lord. Ediban invited me to go to soccer and, reluctantly, I said yes. Unfortunately, I came to soccer hungover. Ediban would always invite me to church, but I would always say no because of what I did on Saturday nights. I would always make it to soccer after church though. God is a good father and will chastise his children to get them to understand what they’re doing is wrong. He did this to me during this time, and I am very grateful.
Hebrews 12:6-11 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
God took away all the excuses I had to not to return to the body of Christ, his family. In a matter of months, I had left my job because of shame and slothfulness. I had no job, so I had no money; therefore, I couldn't go out because I couldn't pay for drinks. This is when things began to add up. Once again, Ediban asked me to go to church with him, and I finally said yes because all of the excuses were gone in my life. Praise the Lord, I never looked back. This was a turning point in my life. Through soccer, I was already becoming reconnected with people of MBT and C&YA. I got connected with the Men’s Bible study at Penn Valley, and I met James, Blake, Chance, and Nick there. I was ready to be all-in for the Lord.
“God is not mocked. He sees our hearts and our true intentions”
It wasn’t until after my first Fall Retreat with C&YA that I finally decided to take the Cost of Discipleship class. I couldn't escape the fact that I needed to get discipled. I needed to know what it truly meant to follow Christ. After Mission Focus that same year, I got paired up with James McKelvey, who God was already using in my life as my Bible study leader.
James and I hit the ground running with discipleship, and I was finding it easy to submit to the Word of God. About halfway through discipleship, we were about to begin lesson 10: Dealing with Sin. At the time, I was living in a cycle of sin that I couldn't escape, but it says in Psalms 119:11 that we need God’s word in our hearts so that we might not sin against him. I wasn't truly hiding God’s word in my heart, and I had a major struggle with confessing my sins up until that point. I'd cover them up, sweep them under a rug, and act surprised when they would show up again. This lesson was convicting and challenging for me, but through discipleship with James and truly hiding God’s word in my heart, I was able to overcome those sins in my life.
After lesson 10, we were back on track until James had me teach lesson 17: The Judgment Seat. The topic of the Judgment Seat of Christ was brand new to me and it wrecked me to know that what I did on earth matters. Romans 14:12 says, "So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.” It didn’t matter how easy discipleship was going for me or the fact that I came from a good, Christian home. God was viewing my heart and my actions. During this time, I also realized what I would be judged on and it struck fear in me. I feared the judgment seat because I knew I invested my time in temporal things, not the things of true value like souls of men and the word of God.
The passage of Galatians 6:7-8 resonated with me when it said: “Be not deceived: God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” God is not mocked. He sees our hearts and our true intentions. We must invest in eternal things because we are submitted to God and God alone. I thank God he opened my eyes to my deceit and how I thought that religious activities were sufficient.
“I pray that I can be the man that God wants to use”
Discipleship taught me how to study God’s word and how to fall in love with it. It taught me to take true ownership of what I believed in and it showed me scripture to support these beliefs. Looking back at this time, I struggled with goal two of discipleship: being established in God’s word. Because I struggled with this, I was lacking in the other goals of being established in the worship of God, the local church, and the work of the ministry. If I can’t get into God’s word, I cannot fellowship with the Lord. I cannot walk in his Spirit or be in right relationship with the body or ministry.
In the end, discipleship allowed me to recognize God as my Lord and Savior. I was able to be obedient to what he had wanted in my life. He was no longer just a safety net for me. I had no other option but to obey him. My life is not my own; I am a servant of the Lord. Through discipleship, I finally submitted to that fact. I don’t know where I'd be if it wasn't for discipleship. It impacted me in so many ways I cannot quite put it all into words. Colossians 3:1-3 talks about setting my affection on things above and not on things on earth. I will always hold these verses close to my heart because of how God changed my heart in regards to focusing on eternal things.
God is still showing me so many things, and I can’t wait to get to a point where I can have the honor and privilege in investing in someone the way James did in my life. I pray that I can be the man that God wants to use. With that, I will continue to study to shew myself approved unto God (2 Tim 2:15). I will continue to submit to the word of God and learn how to be a true leader in our ministry. It’s not just about me anymore. In my flesh dwelleth no good thing (Rom 7:18); the only good parts about me are because of what God has done for me and in my life. I currently have the privilege of mentoring a young man, which means that the way I live affects him. I decide daily to put on Christ and follow the foundational doctrines from discipleship.
I am glad to say that I am not the same man I was two years ago, and I thank God for his mercy and grace and patience in my life. I now know my confidence is in Christ and it's not me but him. I don’t fear the future because my life is Christ’s now.
Isai is a member at Midtown Baptist Temple and is a part of C&YA. He is involved in the Penn Valley FOI bible study, C&YA hospitality, and the A/V team for Main Service.